The wonders of technology.

So there's a truly epic thunderstorm going on here right now. I unplugged my laptop when it started, since I have enough troubles with power cables exploding without adding in a lightning strike. And sure enough, the power has gone out, but here I am, typing away, and still accessing the internets just fine, using my mobile phone as a wifi modem.

Really, I don't think humanity has any more evolving to do.

Peeling an apple with a knife.

Despite the fact that it was my eighty-something grandmother that taught me how to do it, the reason I don't use a peeler is because this way makes me feel like Bear Gryls.

yum.

carrots and celery and cheeses philly and vintage, and chicken and fritz and grapes and apples.

Stealthy.

That, my friends, is a damn good word.

Crossovers FTW

Someone on facebook has just suggested that Fiona from Burn Notice blew up the warehouse in the finale episode of White Collar. I like that idea.

I makes sense to me now...

For reasons unknown, the math is much easier at 3am.

Boobies

Whenever I think to myself, "...gosh my boobies are small..." I can subsequently think "...but they're bigger than Debra Messing's..."

On the other hand, whenever I'm thinking to myself, "...gosh my boobies have gotten big lately..." I can subsequently think "...but at least they're not as big as Steph "Boobs" Vines'..."

Finafreakingly.

Scones. Tiny and perfect, with lots of Vegemite.

Hell yes.

Oh yeah.

I've been gunna-ing on making some kind of stand for my tablet. I had a wander around town today looking for a plate stand after we talked about them at the market, but I couldn't find any. So I've bought a plastic photo frame, and used elastic bands to hold the tablet on.

I will admit, it's a we bit precarious. But it'll do for now.

statcounter.com

If you have a blog, get an account.

Admittedly, I haven't set it up for this blog, but I'm so in love with seeing who's reading the big one.

Two negatives* make a positive.

If your shirt is really long, it doesn't matter if your fly is down.


*by negative, I mean below waistband height.

Hardboiled eggs.

Because sometimes, there's nothing else in the house to eat.

My Bed...

It has an electric blanket.

Warmth.

Does anyone else out there use their iron as a handy little heater?

It's a good idea.

Yum! (brrrt... ohh, excuse me...)

When eating baked beans, I like my tomato sauce to be as close as I can possibly get it to the surface temperature of lava. Which is an utterly ridiculous statement since lava only has a surface temperature, what with it being magma while it's still underground.

What I'm trying to say is... Baked Beans are good.

Bring on the farts!

Awww.

Not having the hiccups.

But unfortunately you only realise this when you do have hiccups.

The re-wee.

When you spend as much time on the loo as I do, you learn that the second wee, if you wait for it, and let it happen naturally, is so much better than the first.

Probably too much information, but really, it's the simple things in life that mean the most.

Time Team

But I cannot explain why.

Maybe it's genetic, since both Mum and Maddy are also big fans.

Ergo: not my fault.

Blogging

Because it would seem I very much like the sound of my fingers typing...

You don't even realise...

Having the right music for the shower is easily as important as having the right music for a party or a roadtrip.

It's also much easier, because unless your life is much spicier than mine, there's noone else in the shower to go "naw, I don't like this one, can we put on something else?"

In the spirit, as well as the usuals (save a horse ride a cowboy, yellow, don't look back in anger, as good as I once was) I've also included John Lennon's Happy Christmas and the version of All I want for Christmas is You from the Love Actually soundtrack.

Aaarrrg....nevermind.

Oh no! Only 4% internet remaining!

Oh wait, it resets in 48 hours. And 4% is still over 3gig.

Phew...

Cause it's so much more than just a Christmas song...

John Lennon's Happy Christmas

The only Christmas song I listen to in months other than December.

Being Awesome

Tonight's was one hell of an achievement.

I wasted 2 hours with Bejewelled, but still managed to piece a medium sized quilt top.

I'm so awesome.

It's all about context. And maths.

With 8 days to go, I have only 15% of my internet left.

But what's this? I have 50 gig a month, which means I have 8 gig left.

Hooray!

This bit from the end of Hogfather...

Susan has just saved the Hogfather from the Auditors. Now she and her grandfather, Death (He's in the allcaps) are heading home for Hogswatchnight.

'Thank you. Now... tell me...'

WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU HADN'T SAVED HIM?

'Yes! The sun would have risen just the same, yes?'

NO.

'Oh, come on. You can't expect me to believe that. It's an astronomical fact.'

THE SUN WOULD NOT HAVE RISEN.

She turned on him.

'It's been a long night, Grandfather! I'm tired and I need a bath! I don't need silliness!'

THE SUN WOULD NOT HAVE RISEN.

'Really? Then what would have happened, pray?'

A MERE BALL OF FLAMING GAS WOULD HAVE ILLUMINATED THE WORLD.

They walked in silence for a moment.

'Ah,' said Susan dully. 'Trickery with words. I would have thought you'd have been more literal-minded than that.'

I AM NOTHING IF NOT LITERAL-MINDED. TRICKERY WITH WORDS IS WHERE HUMANS LIVE.

'All right,' said Susan. 'I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable.'

REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.

'Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little-'

YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.

'So we can believe the big ones?'

YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.

'They're not the same at all!'

YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET-- Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME... SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.

'Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point---'

MY POINT EXACTLY.

She tried to assemble her thoughts.

THERE IS A PLACE WHERE TWO GALAXIES HAVE BEEN COLLIDING FOR A MILLION YEARS, said Death, apropos of nothing. DON'T TRY TO TELL ME THAT'S RIGHT.

'Yes, but people don't think about that,' said Susan. Somewhere there was a bed...

CORRECT. STARS EXPLODE, WORLDS COLLIDE, THERE'S HARDLY ANYWHERE IN THE UNIVERSE WHERE HUMANS CAN LIVE WITHOUT BEING FROZEN OR FRIED, AND YET YOU BELIEVE THAT A... A BED IS A NORMAL THING. IT IS THE MOST AMAZING TALENT.

'Talent?'

OH, YES. A VERY SPECIAL KIND OF STUPIDITY. YOU THINK THE WHOLE UNIVERSE IS INSIDE YOUR HEADS.

'You make us sound mad,' said Susan. A nice warm bed...

NO. YOU NEED TO BELIEVE IN THINGS THAT AREN'T TRUE. HOW ELSE CAN THEY BECOME? said Death, helping her up on to Binky.

'These mountains,' said Susan, as the horse rose. 'Are they real mountains, or some sort of shadows?'

YES.

Susan knew that was all she was going to get.